my mom told me
Topic: thought of the day

my mom told me today,

 "these parents set their kids out to be who they want them to be, and not who the kids want to be. it just makes me wonder how they go about their lives. if they all have their life planned for them, they have no time to think for themselves, no time to dream their own dream."

 

if these people are told what to do, what to say, and not told how to act or speak for themselves. do they really know what to think, by themselves or is the work already done for them?

 

it's one thing to have a dream, it's another to be living it. 

frustration
Mood:  hug me
Topic: repairments

when something really ticks you off, there is a sudden urgency inside of you to tell someone about it.

not knowing if you are on the right level with someone to express those feelings, or if they know anything about it, or if they don't understand what is wrong with you are all problems which cause more frustration, and lead you on and on, around the big circle.

wanting to find an exit, finding an exit: both mentally challenging.  the exit is the entrance, but you don't know where to begin looking for it.

= 2.008 E10
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: wow, i can get sexual too - say anything
Topic: problem solving
like always, over thinking is a true hardship! by definition, it definitely is not, but by reality, it is becoming a huge problem, especially amongst ourselves.

if i spit out what was on my mind, i would be slurring my words, unable to pronounce things, embarrassed, shy, overcoming with fear, worried, nauseous, etc. it would be a big jumble of words.

so advice to end the month: end your thoughts when you begin to realize you are blowing the idea out of proportion, second-guessing the situation and most of all, when you start to feel sick.

like always, trust your gut and you will be happy. 

sun glare
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: elvis ain't dead - scounting for girls
Topic: problem solving

the sun vs. sunglasses

is the sun really blinding when you see its glare? i think so. so why are all the most simple factors in life the exact same as complicated problems?

are your eyes protected with sunglasses or are you one of those people who look straight into the sun and deal with the consequences?

maybe everyone needs a pair of sunglasses, even if it only shields their mind and not their eyes. 

stitches
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: chances - roxette
Topic: repairments

the hardest part is a recovery. not the pain in the beginning, or the repair, but definitely the recovery.

in my opinion, recovering takes more strength than getting up after falling, literally.

scars are purple memories, eventually the wound is healed, but still exists.

if there are stitches through a cut, do you choose to pull them out early, or do you wait till you are healed? pick at the stitches or disinfect?

same goes for mental pain: talk or hold it in?

dew drops
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: force field - smash mouth
Topic: black holes

the weather changes everyday, anything is predictable, but not definite. situations seem to go over-looked sometimes, or take no notice at all.

sticking to the point as a deeper expression:

every person, every where in the world is a weather forecaster. the only problem could be just that some do not have the resources to investigate further storms or beautiful, sunny days.

in reality, on a basic scale every person can make a 7-day forecast by the actions which are taken and how fast storms blow over.  so, why do they still get wet? or sunburned?

inspiration
Mood:  special
Topic: thought of the day

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friend tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Damn boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the smiles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous.

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach ... but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or for worse. We were put here in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for the good in others.

friends.  this touching story leads me into my letter of appreciation:

 

dear friends,

my heart is as large as the ocean, and you, my friends, make up all the land. our hands hold each other like the waves hug the shore, while i spend my days soaking in advice. a few of you have been my friends for a few months or a few years. countless hours spent talking and playing, laughing and crying.

our memories are sealed in big vaults, full fo gold. good or bad, they are still valuable, especially to me. i feel free to let go of all my worries and express my feelings.

no. not how i want it.

dear friends, 

my heart is as large as the ocean and you make up all the land. our arms hold each other like the waves hug the shore. i spend my days soaking in adivce. you all make up the lights to a path in the night - without you, i couldn't find my way.

playing in the yard, laughing at school, spending hours online talking; all the words we have spoken and written could fill an entire post office with letters of sadness, happiness, regret, sorrow and hate. we always have fun and have our disputes but i know i can count on all of you. i would need 100,000 pairs of hands to count all the times. as you all have been, i will always be there for you. i am here to give me advice and to listen. like always.

soon we will meet again in a little while and will be able to share our day. i wanted this to be short and sweet. a value could never be put on my gratitude towards you, or a price on our friendship.

thank you for everything, thank you for so much!

s'plode
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: dangerous - roxette
Topic: not sure about it

recently, emotion has taken over my mind once again. explainable, no, but cool, uh, sure!

 

not only have i been frustrated with the own beings living in my town, also with those impatient in other parts of the world. i think i might have posted something about "all i really need to know i learned in kindergarten" and if i didn't, here you are:

share everything.
play fair.
don't hit people.
put things back where you found them.
clean up your own mess.
don't take things that aren't yours.
say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
wash your hands before you eat.
flush.
warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
live a balanced life - learn and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
take a nap every afternoon.
when you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
be aware of wonder. remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. so do we.
and then you remember the dick-and-jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

pretty much sums up the world as we don't know it. people hit each other, and people don't look, others are greedy and some people don't play fair. there are thieves and there are people who don't wash their hands. some people flush but they clog the toilet (what good does that do anyone, it would be like not flushing at all.) 

 

i honestly cried when i was listening to my mother read this to me, there are so many reasons why humans cannot function properly, some are mental, some are because they can't seem to get it through that, it's OK to apologize - even if they weren't wrong.

 

if i elaborate anymore, i won't be able to speak to anyone, not even myself because sometimes, all of us do something out of line, especially out of the list. enjoy. 

  

i got some guts
Mood:  rushed
Topic: problem solving

do you ever feel like your gut serves you right? i mean first off, do you feed your gut correctly?

advice on feeding your gut:

first you will need some common sense, not a whole lot, but some. next a boarderline case in which if you get too unbalanced, you'll tip the glass over. third an opinion that sticks, like peanut butter.

note: if you over feed yourself you may: look like an idiot, sound stupid, get fat, go insane and have problems to the point where you ramble on about how you don't have a problem after recently doing something destructive such as drinking and driving..

 

tips for the gut: make sure you are feeling okay. you're crucial in making gut feelings. if you cannot handle what is being fed to you, regurgitate it, or simply disagree. if forced to be fed something you do not like, use your karma and send some bad karma out.

sailboat
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: spay me - say anything
Topic: transforming

if you could turn your bed into anything, what would it be?

i recently decided that mine was a big hole, when the lights are out, the room is dark, just like being dug in really deep. not only is it dark, but warm, the heat is just absorbed/bounced off the walls of this hole letting me relax and fall asleep. i can just claim that the spiders are worms and get on with my life, and usually i can't climb out because i'm too comfortable.