Mood:  bright

ok ok. juice boxes must be the coolest way to have a beverage, in the history of beverages. there are many advantages and like wise, disadvantages that come with these cardboard objects.

i love juice boxes. they kinda taste icky when they are room temperature or above, but when they are fridge-cold, boy oh boy, are they delicious. enough about my opinion, on to the actual idea behind why they are so great.

there are two substitutes that one arizona ice tea drink can come in, not counting a dry mix. a can, and a glass bottle. (it technically can be a genie in a bottle, except it doesn't grant wishes, except maybe if you're in need of using the lavatory.)  the other is a can, which comes in two sizes, but doesn't really affect this.

so there is this can, a glass bottle, and a juice box all on sale, all sitting on the shelf. the can says to the bottle and the juice box,

"i bet that i will be bought first, and my family will be the most successful."

the bottle replies, "i'm not so sure, after you have been opened you cannot be closed, i think i'll do the best because i can close."

the juice box chuckles and says, "of course the two of you will do worse than me. Can, if i drop you, you'll be dented, and possibly explode. and after being opened you can spill easier. glass bottle, you may be able to close, but if you fall out of that grocery bag, the miss won't buy your family because you break and you become a hazard to her children. i for one am the best, and i will be bought the most."

the Can could not resist his temptation to know the box's secret, "what? how are you better than me! nobody would want a silly little box with a straw for a head. ha."

the juice box explains, "at least when you get dropped you're ruined, and no fun. i can fall 1,000 times and be ok. these mothers love me, as for you're family, you're for unfun snacks where the kids have to be safe not to spill, or cut their lip. if i am dropped, i will not shatter to pieces, if i spill it will only be a few drops, and if i explode, i'll be the cheapest happiness. not only that, i'm delicious, my flavored is sealed twice as long."

the bottle so frustrated now exclaims, "if you're so perfect, why aren't you being bought?"

the juice box smiles mischievously, "i'm priceless."

a juice box can be thrown on the ground, and pounced on, just for the explosion of sweetness, laughter, and a never ending wish to here it's "pop". it make a great soap box boat because of the water proof lining, they are eco-friendly, when you finish drinking out of them, you can pump air in and out of them like a beating heart, or before you finish, blow bubbles through the straw to annoy someone. fill them with air and make the straw shoot out (don't forget to aim), stick the straw in the spot where you lost your tooth, do a magic trick with the juice staying inside the straw with suction, if you spill, it won't be the end of the three hour, five page packet of notes from your latest class, and even before drinking out of it, you can throw it at someone as a weapon, which won't leave a mark (for those worried about criminal records.)

glass bottles break, they crack, you lose the cap, they spill, they roll, can't throw them at someone's head, can't blow bubbles, someone may have used it to go to the bathroom as you went to make a phone call, you can see all the backwash, and things floating around inside too.

a can, three interesting things about cans you sometimes can stand on them, and you can play tab football (the game where you flick the tab back and forth and the person who flicks it off, wins.) lastly, you can get five cents back in.. MA, ME, VT, CT, and NY. but.. i don't live in any of those states, and it costs more than five cents to travel, those five cents are probably how much the gas station down the road jacked up the prices illegally in the past day.

everything bad: you can cut your lip, if you crush it too much, the leftover fluids seep out, they hurt, especially if you drop a whole case on your big toe, they are tougher to shake, and more prone to explode in an uncool manner. they sink when you through them in a river, they make a loud clanking noise when they drop and you have to buy a straw to allow its unripe nectar slither down your dry throat.

the downsides of a juice box could be, they absorb heat faster, sometimes they don't come with the straw on the back because some jerk decided to peel them off. when you go to poke the tip of the straw through the hole, the end bends leaving you frustrated, if you are sitting with some friends, someone may decide to squeeze the bottom and make the juice come out your nose (which isn't entirely bad for your audience) and maybe you're aichmophobic  (being afraid of corners or points.)

a juice box is not just filled with a yummy liquid, it an experience.